About Counselling
Practicalities: I am very happy to answer any queries you have about Counselling and if you then want to book a first appointment, we will look at times which work for you.
My Approach: At the first meeting we will talk about what has brought you to Counselling and what you want to take away from it. You have your own particular way of seeing the world and we will work with that. My Counselling is about working with you personally and what you bring to sessions so that you can manage your life in a way that suits you.
Counselling helps us to consider, and sometimes challenge, our beliefs and priorities and how we can use these to support us better in difficult situations. Having an increased awareness and understanding of what underlies our thinking and actions helps decision making. It also enables us to decide what old habits and ways of thinking to keep and which to leave behind. Talking things through with someone outside our family or social groups, with someone who can be objective, is often life changing. Ultimately successful Counselling is always about change of some kind whether of thinking, feeling or behaving.
Theoretical Outlook: I consider myself an Existential therapist believing we are all different and it is up to us to make the most of our own lives within certain limitations we cannot change. We need to create a life which is right for us and being able to tune in and take note of how we feel supports us in doing that. Therapy can help us reassess aspects of life which are not working well or balance our lives so that they match more closely what we believe and value. Techniques are chosen and adapted so they work meaningfully for you. In Counselling modality terms, I work in a Person-Centred way, using Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Psychodynamic Theory, Transactional Analysis (TA) and sometimes Motivational Interviewing.
Whatever the tools, therapy means you have space to talk, knowing you can do so openly and have my full attention. I will always respect who you are and what you are looking for.
I understand that relationships are very different; you might be in a heterosexual or same sex relationship, in a marriage, civil partnership or with a less formalized commitment to each other.
Relationship therapy also varies; my Couples Counselling is not about drama but about creating a calm and balanced space where each of you can talk and be heard by the other. Your relationship will be the focus of Couples Counselling; it is this which is at the heart of all the work we do together.
Both partners are encouraged to take responsibility for what they put into the relationship. We will look at ways to strengthen and nurture it whether you are having particular difficulties or are seeking ways to deepen your connection.
We all bring aspects of what we have learned and experienced in life whether from our personal, social, cultural or family histories. Sometimes these ways of seeing things are no longer necessary and can be unhelpful. Awareness of what could be happening enables us to pause and consider. There are powerful techniques and tools available to help you look after your relationship.
You will take from Counselling, a greater knowledge and understanding of your relationship which will enable you to protect and develop it both now and in the future.
Couples Counselling is different from having individual therapy as it is likely to feel more structured and perhaps more directive as part of ensuring that the sessions are balanced evenly between both partners. There needs to be a willingness on both sides to engage in the process and commit to it.
There are a few important issues you need to know:
I strongly advise couples to have face-to-face Counselling.
- Due to data protection legislation, I need both partners to contact me directly so that I know both sides are looking for Counselling and that I have permission to get in touch with you both.
- Couples Counselling involves shared communication between Counsellor and both partners. There can be no unshared communication between one partner and myself.
- Sessions always include both parties; they cannot take place unless both partners are present.
Number of Sessions
Counselling does require commitment and engagement and for many people weekly sessions work well. However, I understand that you may not be able or want to have regular appointments and I work with that.
You might find you are where you want to be after a few sessions, several weeks or a longer time period.
Most people find they need between 12 and 25 sessions; some people need fewer, and others benefit from many more. If you are looking for just a one or two appointments, I suggest you start with a longer one of 90 minutes.
